Zambia World Wide

Whatever the creature was, it obviously thought that our boat was a bit of real estate & was heading straight for it. It had a large black head which glistened in the sun as it created a vee shaped wake on the smooth water surface.  I nervously began to 'up anchor' & prepared to start the outboard motor.

My brother Ron & I were enjoying a halcyon fishing weekend at Chimfunsi on that great river, the Kafue, a major tributary of the Zambezi. Copperbelt oldtimer, Dougie Borland, had a 99 year lease on a 1 acre riverside plot , where he’d built a rough 'Kimberly Brick' fishing shack for the use of his family & angling buddies. The galvanized corrugated iron roofed building had a large cement floored space right in the middle of the structure – this served as a kitchen , complete with cast iron wood fueled stove, paraffin powered refrigerator, chest freezer & storeroom. The kitchen was encircled, on the three river facing sides, by a very spacious mosquito gauzed verandah, furnished with comfortable mukwa / riempie easy chairs, beds & a bar counter. There was also an outside braai pit ( barbecue), wash-up sink, shower & ‘long drop’ toilet. Drinking & wash water was drawn from a large tank that was pipe fed by rainfall collected off the roof.

The pristine river provided a bounty of fish including large & small mouthed Bream(Tilapia), sleek, hard fighting river Pike, Monster Barbel (Vundu) & large shoals of silver sardine–like small fry ( Kapenta). The Kapenta were excellent as live bait for the big bottom feeding lunkers . The water was crystal clear to a depth of at least a couple of metres & one could follow the shoals of fish competing for first snatch of the lure. Judging the precise moment to set the hook was a cinch. The river was also the unspoilt domain of hippopotami, large crocodiles, monitor lizards, many waterfowl & that majestic African icon, the Fisheagle.

Dense semi- tropical forest, inhabited by a great variety of animals, reptiles & birds bounded the shack clearing. In this Bundu , the hunting fraternity, were guaranteed to find fresh meat for the pot/braai or for airdrying into biltong (jerky). A paradise setting, which I’m certain, would have won the approval of that great angler, hunter & writer; Earnest Hemingway.

With the anchor up, the boat began to drift slowly downstream, but our animal boarding party altered his tack, still intent on joining us. As it got closer, I realized with some dismay, that the creature was a large snake! I shouted anxiously "I’d better start the motor Boet , that thing is an M’fezi & one big mother!" Ron retorted nonchalantly, while grabbing an oar; "Simmer down mate; don’t start the motor, I’ll sort the cocky bugger out".He steadied himself in the now wildly rocking boat & slammed the oar down onto the swimming reptile. There was an almighty splash & after the ripples subsided, it became apparent that the snake had disappeared. A sixth sense of foreboding caused us both to simultaneously look up at the oar that Ron had raised above his head, to deliver a coup-de-gras to the determined creature. Guess what; you guessed it! The sinuous fellow was firmly wrapped around the oar! A startled Ron took immediate, self preserving evasive action, by dropping the oar, complete with incumbent angry snake, into the boat, & dived overboard, closely followed by an equally concerned Bill Hunt! We were both very capable swimmers & fears about man eating crocodiles spurred us on towards the steep reed covered river bank some 30 metres away. Earlier; as our boat planed over the glass smooth surface towards our regular fishing spot; we had spotted a number of sizeable saurians slithering off their riverside sunning sandbanks, into the water. Fighting our way through the tall, sharp leaved reeds, we managed to scale the slippery muddy bank. After getting our breaths back, we began contemplating as to how we could recover the drifting snake crewed craft. On board was a precious crate of Lion Lager beer, our days catch & all our fishing tackle!

To any bystander, we must have presented a forlorn sight indeed – a pair of sodden, bedraggled, mud covered souls, wishing that we were somewhere else. We began a tortuous plodding through the dense tree & reed lined river bank, struggling to keep the slowly drifting boat in sight through the heavy riverside growth. It was the Summer month of October – termed 'Suicide Month' by Northern Rhodesians because of the blast furnace type heat & debilitating humidity that every year caused a surge in the incidence of human suicides. Although we were thoroughly soaked by our swim, the going was extremely tough & very uncomfortable. I had to bite my tongue to restrain myself from directing some really 'choice' expletives at my brother for his foolhardy cavalier method of dealing with the snake. Vintage comedian Oliver Hardy's oft repeated phrase to sidekick Stan Laurel, comes to mind - "Well, that’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into!". Ron, as my young brother, was very proud of me & showed it by frequently offering (un-beknown to me at any time ) my services to beat up any bully who was threatening him. He missed his calling in life! He would have been a great fight promoter! In truth, I did have my share of messes staged by my beloved younger brother Ron! However this particular 'fine mess' was way beyond the scope of my pugilistic skills.

Eventually, after about a kilometer, the boat drifted against the river bank & lodged itself among the reeds & we were able to wade in & gingerly grab hold of it, not at all sure if the M’Fezi was still on board. We both knew of the ability of this species of cobra to project a fine spray of its deadly venom from its fangs over a distance of about two metres. The spray covered a very wide arc & any person within range was very likely to get a good dose in the eyes. The venom causes extreme pain, temporary blindness & if left untreated; permanent blindness. Irrigating the eyes with anti venom or copious quantities of water was the recommended treatment. Human urine, since it is sterile, can also be used, with or without the consent of the patient!! All these thoughts were racing through my mind but thank goodness, I did not have to put this profound knowledge into practice, since the big old snake was very much alive & just as scared of us as we were of him, & to our amazement, slithered over the gunnels of the boat & quickly vanished amongst the reeds!

Ron, friends & I had many good laughs when recalling this one episode of the many wonderful times we had fishing, hunting & exploring the wilds of that great country – Northern Rhodesia.