Zambia World Wide

I have been writing in a serious manner for some time and feel it is time to lighten up and mention a few of the more humorous incidents which have happened during these early years in Zambia. One afternoon I got a phone call from Jan to say that she had been reversing out of her friend’s driveway and turned too sharply and the car was stuck over the storm drain. I did ask how she managed to do it, the answer was not printable. Running the length of the street the storm drain was about 6 feet wide and 4 feet deep. At the end of every driveway there was a bridge spanning the drain, at each side of the bridge was a low wall about 9 inches high. She had reversed so fast that the rear of the car had mounted the wall and slid along on the chassis, half the car length was hanging over the drain. Well done Jan! Now I knew why she had phoned, there was no way we could get the car off the wall without a crane and even then we would have to be careful or it could fall into the drain. There was only one way out, which was to return to work and get the crane, then lift the car clear and let it down on the road. Once the car was back on the road I was just a little angry and tried telling Jan she needed to take more care when she was driving, it was hopeless! we both ended up laughing, as by then we could see the funny side. Then there was the time that Gary decided to spend the night in his tent, camping in the front garden. Just before we went to bed Jan went to check that Gary was ok, when she went in the tent she found that Cissy had got in the tent and into Gary’s sleeping bag and was curled up beside him. On another occasion Cissy went missing and after three days we thought that’s it she’s gone, we doubted that we would ever see her again. Then one night Jan was in the kitchen when she heard a noise at the window, when she turned to look there was Cissy hanging onto the window frame obviously wanting to come in. About two days after Cissy had returned a guy who worked for the same company asked if we had a pet monkey. I said yes, everyone around here knows we have, he said thank goodness. A monkey had been living in the tree outside his house the past few days, he had seen it several times but every time he pointed to the monkey so that his wife could see, it disappeared. They then started to argue and his wife told him to stop making fun of her. Cissy was only missing for three days but in that time she almost caused a divorce. However to stop any further arguments and to also convince his wife that he wasn’t cracking up we took Cissy round to meet them and explained to his wife that Cissy had been missing for a few days and that it was probably her in the tree. Cissy really was a nut, if Allen came round to see us Cissy would be all over him, however if Barbara his wife went near her she would scream and bare her teeth and behave in a most frightening way. I am sure it was just a game to her, she either liked a person or didn’t, there were no grey areas. Smokey also had his funny little ways, one of which was to make a dive for anyone who didn’t like cats. He seemed to have an instinct for spotting these people, and would make a bee-line for them the moment they entered the house. A lady called Val who was a friend of Jan’s was his usual target. As soon as she sat down he would run across the room and jump on her lap, Val was too terrified to throw him off. He would sit there looking innocently at her face, Jan would walk over and lift him off her lap. He would then walk back to her chair and sit as close as possible staring up at her. About October time just before the rains started, the heat would become oppressive, almost unbearable and we would be invaded by flying ants. There were swarms of them flying out of nests which were in the ground. The birds would swoop done to catch the ants and Smokey would be dashing round in circles trying to catch the birds. Fortunately he was usually unsuccessful and after some time would flop on the ground and just watch. The ants are no more than white maggots with wings, while the weather is dry they fly around in swarms. As soon as it rains they fall to the ground and the wings come off. It is quite normal to walk out of the house and find the paths covered in ants and wings after a rain storm. Fortunately we only had to put up with them for a few weeks a year.